Blogs: (The Costumer Is) Not Always Right
Vor einiger Zeit hatte ich schon mal das Blog Strange Maps vorgestellt. Doch ich habe natürlich noch andere Blogs in meinem RSS-Feader. Ein weiteres ist: “(The Costumer Is) Not Always Right”.
(The Costumer Is) Not Always Right
“Der Kunde ist König” heißt es bei uns bekanntlich, im Englischen ist das “The costumer is always right”. Aber gerade in den USA scheint das die Kunden dazu zu verführen, nicht nur den gesunden Menschenverstand zu ignorieren, sondern auch simple Logik und unumstößliche Naturgesetze.
Das Blog sammelt irrwitzige Konversationen zwischen Kunden und Verkäufern. Teilweise so abwegig, dass man an der Echtheit zweifelt, auf der anderen Seite muss man gewissen Gesellschafts-Schichten wohl mehr Irrsinn zutrauen, als gesund ist.
Einige von den am höchsten bewerteten Konversationen auf der Seite:
This Is Why We Don’t Color Code People
Ice Cream Parlor | California, USAMe: “Hi, what can I get for you?”
Customer: “No!”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “No! I don’t want no g**d*** Chinese serving me.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Are you retarded? Get me an American.”
Me: “Sir, I am American.”
Customer: “What?! You think I’m blind? You think I’m f***ing blind? Go back to China!”
Me: “Right, one second…”
(My coworkers hear everything from the back, so one of my white coworkers comes out.)
Customer: “Ugh, finally… an American!”
Coworker: *starts speaking Spanish*
Customer: “G**D*** IT! F*** Y’ALL, A**HOLES!” *storms out*
For My Next Trick…
Retail | Terrace, British Columbia, Canada(A woman who had gone through my line earlier that day came up to me.)
Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”
Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”
Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”
Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”
Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*
Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”
Customer: “I drove here, of course!”
Me: “With your car keys?”
Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”
Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”
Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”
(I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)
Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”
Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”
Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”
(My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)
Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”
Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*
Fibbing Fail
Retail | Denver, CO, USAMe: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I need to return this d*** camera.”
Me: “Sure, was it not working?”
Customer: “I just don’t want it, okay?”
Me: “Okay. Have you opened the box yet?”
Customer: “Why does that matter?”
Me: “Well, as the sticker on the box says, if the box is opened and you return it, I have to charge you a restocking fee.”
Customer: “Oh. No… no, it hasn’t been opened.”
(I look and the box has been clearly opened, with a torn seal.)
Me: “Uh… are you sure it hasn’t been opened?”
Customer: ”LOOK! ARE YOU CALLING ME A F***ING LIAR? Where is your manager? I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars here and this is how I’m treated?!”
Me: “Ma’am, if you just–”
Customer: “THESE PEOPLE CALL CUSTOMERS LIARS! DON’T SHOP HERE!”
Me: “Ma’am, I believe you! I will return it!”
Customer: “That’s right you will!”
Me: “Can I see your receipt?”
Customer: “It’s in the box.”
Teenage Boys And Smutty Mags? You Don’t Say!
Pharmacy | Columbus, OH, USAAngry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson pornography!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pornography.”
Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager now!”
Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”
Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson pornography!”
Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.”
Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!”
Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?”
(She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.)
Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See right here! Where any child could see!”
Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not pornography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.”
Angry Old Woman: “I know pornography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?”
Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?”
Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!”
Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it, seriously.”
Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!”
Manager: “Right…real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have internet access?”
Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.”
| Nusa, am 5. Juni 2009 18:00 |
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| Tags Blog, not always right Aus der Kategorie Spiel & Spaß, Unterhaltung | ||
am 15. Juli 2009 um 11:40 Uhr.
The Hole In His Logic
Grocery Store | London, UK
Customer: “I’m looking for your nuts.”
Me: “Those are on aisle four sir.”
Customer: “I’ve already looked and I can’t find them. I’m looking for my favorites.”
Me: “All the types of nut we have in stock are in aisle four, if you can’t find them then we don’t stock them. Do you want me to have a look for you?”
Customer: “No no, I’ll go look again.”
(Five minutes later, he returns.)
Customer: “I still can’t find my favorite nuts!”
Me: “Then I am afraid we must not stock them.”
Customer: “But my wife gets them for me from here every week!”
Me: “What type of nuts does she buy you?”
Customer: “Donuts…”