Spam Jokes [Update 6]

Die Spamwelle der Massive Squad ausgesetzt ist bleibt zwar ungebrochen, neu sind seit kurzen jedoch Spam-Kommentare die zumindest beim manuellen überprüfen der als Spam markierten Beiträge einen zum Schmunzeln bringen. Akismet erkennt diese dennoch als Spam, sie sind aber deutlich angenehmer als der ganze Rest.

Wenn Spammer mir Witze erzählen, hat das irgendwie schon seinen gewissen Charme. Solche lösche ich doch viel lieber als den ganzen anderen Schund. Naja, die Qualität der Witze läßt manchmal zu wünchen übrig. Hier ein paar Beispiele, Teilweise ja schon Witzquisitionsverdächtig.

Where did the vegetables go to get drunk? The Salad Bar.

Did you hear that Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein got together for a meeting last week to discuss their common problem? They both have Kurds in their whey.

Why is an evil witch like a candle? They are both WICKED

When a girl slips on the ice, why can’t her brother help her up? Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.

What do you call bedtime stories for boats? Ferry tales.

How many letters are in the alphabet? Nineteen. Because ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.

Scheinbar müssen die Spammer gespürt haben, dass ich ihren Spam für einen Artikel verwendne will: in den letzten 150 Spam-Kommentaren waren nur noch zwei Witze. Wenn neue hinzukommen, werde ich natürlich diesen Artikel aktualisieren!

Update: Kaum spricht man darüber, kommen wieder welche:

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.

Why are cowboy hats turned up at the sides? So three cowboys can ride in a pickup truck.

What kind of shoes do lazy people wear? Loafers.

What goes faster than a rabbit in a field? A rabbit in a blender.

Update: Juchu, neue!

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

Why did the pig cross the road? Because he was a road hog.


What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? A roaming Catholic.

Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s quicker than driving.

What do you get if you cross a giant and a vampire? A BIG pain in the neck!

What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? You’re too young to be smoking.


What happens when a ghost haunts a theater? The actors get stage fright.

What day does a fish hate? Fry day.

Samantha: Doctor, my son thinks that he is a TV channel changer. What are the odds that you can save him? Doctor: Remote!!

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Why is a turkey more evil than a chicken? Because a turkey is always a gobblin (a goblin)

What has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night.

What do you call a dumb balloon? An air head.

How do you get a frog off the back window of your car? Use the rear defrogger.


Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They’re trying to get away from the noise.

What did one cloned sheep say to the other? I am ewe.

What has four legs, is big, green, furry, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.

Why do carpenters believe that there is no such thing as stone? Because they never SAW it!!

What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? Well done.

When should you use milk to irrigate your fields? When you are growing creamed corn.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

How you get down from an elephant? You don’t, you get down from ducks.

Which side of a dog has the most hair? The out side.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it SOOTS him!


Why wouldn’t the bike move very fast?? It was too tired!!

What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.

How do they put out fires at the post office? They stamp them out.

Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

How do you get a frog off the back window of your car? Use the rear defrogger.

Homeowner: My house is located in an earthquake zone. Agent: Sorry, but I can’t help you. I only sell no-fault insurance!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

What did one rabbit say to the other rabbit? Nothing. Rabbits can’t talk.

Ein Kommentar zu “Spam Jokes [Update 6]”

  1. Gero


    wusste gar nicht wie lustig spammer sein können!

    Love G

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